Aw, Man!
by Romancing Crossover
Summary: Between a pretty new girl at work, the memory spasms of a couple of boys, and two evil scientists who have joined forces, Perry the Platypus is going to have a hard time. A very hard time.
1. Chapter 1

1

A platypus in a fedora crashed into a tech-filled space amongst a rush of rubble. He landed in a ninja pose, ready to battle his nemesis.

"Ah, Perry the Platypus," A hunched, strange-looking man in a labcoat turned to face Agent P. The animal waited, frozen in his pose. "What? Are you waiting for a trap? Well, I don't have one for you."

Perry blinked in surprise and stood. Dr. Doofenshmirtz smiled cunningly. "It's true. _I_ don't have one for you… but Sven does!"

A bolt of blue and purple light shot out from nowhere and hit Perry squarely in the chest. His thoughts locked up; he couldn't summon the willpower to move. But his mind puzzled over something. _Who's Sven?_

Doofenshmirtz cackled, "It worked! It worked! You both fell for it! First when Sven did it to that other agent and then I did it to you! Hehe! Come out, Sven, I want Perry to see my partner."

The platypus slowly registered the, "that other agent," part of his speech. _Major Monogram said Doof found a partner. He also said that this partner—who must be Sven—had his own nemesis. Who is this other agent?_

A second man advanced out of the shadows, smiling eviliy. He was wearing a ratty white labcoat and dark green jeans with a coffee-stained grey shirt. He had tousled black hair and a face like a prune, though he couldn't have been much older than Doofenshmirtz. He held a futuristic ray gun in his hand, pointed at Agent P.

"So, this is Perry the Platypus. I've heard so much about you from Heinz. I am Dr. Sven Meddleshmirtz," he said. He had something of a German accent, like Doof. _They must both be from Drusselstein,_ deduced Perry.

"You didn't hear nearly as much from me as I heard about Terri. You went on and on and on about her!" Doofenshmirtz snapped.

"You talked for an hour straight about how your nemesis was sure to be better than mine!"

"You know what, I'm not having this conversation again," Dr. D sighed. "Just grab Terri and I'll grab Perry and we'll put them in a cage. I don't want to use up any more batteries than necessary with that Mind-Freeze-Inator."

Meddleshmirtz complied, glowering silently. But before Perry had the chance to see this Terri they were talking about Doofenshmirtz picked him up and shoved him into a metal cage. Not being able to move, Perry accidentally tipped over onto his side. _Magnificent veiw of the wall!_ He heard the other agent being placed inside with him.

"Alright, now release them!" Dr. D called out.

Perry suddenly felt movement returning to his limbs. He got up and spun around just as his fellow captive was turning. Perry was now face to face with the prettiest platypus he had ever seen. All he could think was, _Wow… _He felt his bill drop open.

A brown bow perched on the dark band of her fedora. Intelligence sparkled in her deep blue eyes. Lashes curled above them, setting off their color. Her fur had a shine to it not commonly seen—on any kind of animal! She was an absolute wonder, and Perry didn't even know her name. He stared at her in awe, and she gazed back a bit more unobtrusively.

"Perry the Platypus, meet Terri, another platypus. I'm sure you two will get along just fine, seeing as you're both platypuses, or platypi, or… whatever the plural of platypus is," Doofenshmirtz said.

Agent P, slack-jawed and recovering from shock, managed to drag his eyes away from Terri for a moment to look at Doof. Terri turned to face the two scientists and crossed her arms over her chest in cute impatience.

Meddleshmirtz looked at Perry's expression and crowed in glee, "Ha! Perry and Terri, sitting in a tree—"

Doofenshmirtz cut him off quickly, "Can we just get to the backstory here? I have an appointment at one."

Both Terri and Perry burned with shame, though the other didn't know it. They both thought at the same time, _No! It's just that I've never met another platypus before! That's all… really!_

"Behold, Perry and Terri…" Doof paused for dramatic effect as Meddleshmirtz whipped a sheet off a large metal contraption. "The Remember-What-The-Amnesia-Inator-Made-You-Forget-Inator! Boy, what a mouthful! Maybe I need to make it just the Remember-Inator."

The Remember-Inator looked like a giant ray gun on wheels, with a control panel on the back. It was directed straight at Doofenshmirtz.

Perry tensed immediately. _If he remembers the escapade in the second dimension… no. I won't let him remember and put Phineas and Ferb in danger._

Terri sensed his unease and wondered at it. _They told me he is a pro… why is he nervous? Could it be just this particular –Inator?_

Knowing nothing of their thoughts, Dr. Doofenshmirtz continued, "You see, I was going over my –Inator-themed calendar. Now, the day marked with, 'Amnesia-Inator,' has always been a mystery. But then I found written on July 13: 'Other-Dimension-Inator!' Can you imagine that? I don't remember ever building one of those! But, I figured that if I didn't remember building an Amnesia-Inator, then maybe this memory loss was similar! So I created this," The doctor had been rippling during his flashback/backstory, but now he gestured wildly at the –Inator. "The Remember-What-The-Amnesia-Inator-Ma… eh, you know, I'm just going to call it the Remember-Inator," he said, slumping.

Perry clenched his little hands into fists. "Rr-rr-rrr-rrr!"

Doof turned. "What's that, Perry the Platypus? I didn't understand you,"

Meddleshmirtz suggested, "Maybe he's agreeing with you on the name?"

"Somehow I don't think so… Well, anyway, let's light this pop-stand, or whatever they say these days…!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz stood in the path of the Remember-Inator, waiting for Sven to warm it up and fire.

Agent P sprang into action. Out of the huge arsenal of tools in his hat, he took a laser cutter and quickly sliced through the bars of his prison. Leaping out, he knocked Doof's feet out from under him, causing the beam from the Remember-Inator to miss and smash a table.

Terri escaped as well, bashing into the –Inator and swinging it around so that it faced the balcony. But she thought, _I don't see what's so bad that he won't let Doofenshmirtz remember… It must've been something really important that he forgot._ She then jumped gracefully down onto Meddleshmirtz and pounded him away from the Remember-Inator.

Perry whirled around Doofenshmirtz in a storm of fighting. Soon he knocked the evil doctor to the ground and raced toward the Remember-Inator. He began to push it toward the egde of the deck. For such a big machine it was suprisingly light. Terri finished dealing with Meddleshmirtz and raced over to help him. Together they shoved the –Inator into open air and watched it sail down, down, down, to crash on the street below. Both evil doctors cried, "Nooooooo!"

Doof said, "Curse you Perry the Platypus!"

Meddle said, "Curse you Terri the Platypus!"

The two animals doffed their fedoras to each other, leaped away, and jetpacked to their separate lairs.

In the explosion from the –Inator, nobody noticed a stray beam of light sailing through the air, bouncing off several windows and car mirrors, and jetting straight into a certain Flynn-Fletcher backyard, where two little boys received the second-biggest jolt of their lives.


	2. Chapter 2

2

In a picturesque backyard filled to the brim with five kids and thousands of robotic hummingbirds, two boys were zapped with a strange beam of light. The hummingbirds panicked and scattered into the sky, leaving no evidence of their existance behind.

The first victim of the Remember-Inator's ray was Phineas Flynn, and the other was Ferb Fletcher. They stood stock-still as tiny robot wings whizzed around their heads and beat a crazy rhythm. But they did not pay attention. They focused only on the rush of thoughts coming into their heads.

"_That's secret agent Perry the Platypus!"_

"_So you've discovered your pet is a secret agent—I don't want your pamphlet!"_

"_I never thought you could spell, 'platypus,' without, 'us.'"_

Neither Isabella nor Baljeet had noticed the two brothers go into a state of shock, and Buford just didn't care.

As the last of the hummingbirds flew away, Isabella laughed and said, "Wow, that was fun! This must have been just as good as the real thing! I wonder what made them flee? Phineas?" She looked over to him for an answer and saw the boy staring open-mouthed into middle space. "Phineas!"

When the redhead did not reply, Isabella rushed over to him and grabbed his shoulders. "Phineas! What's wrong?"

Phineas snapped out of it. "Wha—Huh—what… Isabella?"

The girl sighed in relief. "You're okay! What happened?"

A memory came into his head and his cheeks grew hot. "You… you… When our memories were erased, you… you ki—Uuhhhhh…" Before Phineas could finish his sentence he fainted dead away in Isabella's arms.

Ferb blinked, coming back to the present. "I believe we have both received an overload of returning memories. If you would excuse us," he said, grabbing Phineas and dragging him into the house.

Dragging her rather bored mom behind her, Candace burst into the backyard. "See? See? _Swarms of hummingbirds!_"

Linda managed to pry her wrist out of Candace's death grip. "Of course, Candace. I'm sure there used to be plenty of hummingbirds here… before Danville was built," she said dryly, opening the sliding door. "Who wants snacks?"

"Buford wants snacks!" The bully rushed after Linda, carrying Baljeet over his shoulder.

Isabella followed a bit more slowly. _Why did Phineas faint? And what was he saying? Our memories were erased? What was he talking about?_

Luckily Phineas had recovered quickly and was sitting on the couch, fully concious. His mother noticed nothing unusual and headed into the kitchen to prepare some cheese and crackers.

"Well, Dinner Bell, impressive performance, fainting like that," Buford said smugly.

"Buford! I'm sure he had a good reason!" Baljeet tried in vain to heave himself off the bully's shoulder.

Phineas reddened. "Um, yeah, sure. I… I had a good reason…"

Ferb got a gleam in his eye but said nothing. He as well remembered Isabella's act of daring and found it very amusing. He even found it a bit refreshing after his brother's obliviousness and her lack of courage.

Isabella walked in. Phineas blushed even more. She was about to come over and check on him but Linda called her over to fetch some crackers.

The redhead sighed in relief. He turned to Ferb and said, "I don't think they remember. I mean, they would act at least a little differently if they remembered. And Perry… we can't let him know that we remember. We can't."

Ferb nodded his affirmation and Phineas smiled. "Wow… It's so great to know again!" Ferb nodded again but sent a glance toward the kitchen, raising his eyebrows in a clear suggestion.

Phineas blushed again. "What—No! I mean… well, maybe—It's not what you think! I mean, if you had just remembered being kissed by a cute and funny and smart and nice girl, how would you react?"

The green-haired boy was obviously not convinced. His wall-eyed stare made his brother squirm. Phineas was saved from this uncomfortable situation when his mother handed them both plates full of snacks. Not too much, of course, as dinner wasn't that far away. Phineas gladly grabbed it and stuffed his mouth, grateful for the distraction.

Isabella got a text from her mother, saying to come home. Buford scarfed down the crackers, grabbed Baljeet, and left. Candace disappeared off to her room, presumably to text. This left Phineas and Ferb opportunity to be quiet and sort their returning memories. One thing troubled the two: _How will we hide this, especially from Perry?_


End file.
